Uncategorized | Brian Thornton, Writer and Editor

King Solomon: All Those Women, All Those Gods, Just Asking for Trouble (ca. 1011-931 B.C.)

by Brian Thornton | Oct 10, 2022 | Uncategorized

Wherefore the Lord said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant. – 1 Kings, 11:11 Solomon, the famously...

This Week’s Bastard: Sennacherib, King of Assyria: If You Can’t Conquer Jerusalem, at Least Brag about All the Little Towns You Destroyed (reigned 704-681 B.C.)

by Brian Thornton | Sep 26, 2022 | Uncategorized

Who was there among all the gods of those nations that my fathers utterly destroyed, that could deliver his people out of mine hand, that your God should be able to deliver you out of mine hand? Now therefore let not Hezekiah [King of Judah] deceive you, nor persuade...

This Week’s Bastard: Ramses II: Or How to Make It Impossible for Your Own People to Forget You After You’re Gone (reigned 1279-1213 B.C.)

by Brian Thornton | Aug 29, 2022 | Uncategorized

“His majesty slaughtered the armed forces of the Hittites in their entirety, their great rulers and all their brothers . . . their infantry and chariot troops fell prostrate, one on top of the other. His majesty killed them . . . and they lay stretched out in...

This Week’s Bastard: Akhenaten: Or How to Get Your Own People to Destroy Every Trace of You After You’re Gone (reigned ca. 1351-1334 B.C.)

by Brian Thornton | Aug 22, 2022 | Uncategorized

Akhenaten: the criminal of Amarna. –Ancient Egyptian Saying Akhenaten, the unexpected heir to the Egyptian throne, unsettled his people by glorifying one god instead of a pantheon. In return, they tried to pretend he never...

This Week’s Bastard: Hammurabi: Sometimes You Really Don’t Want to Lick the Spoon (reigned 1792-1750 B.C.)

by Brian Thornton | Aug 15, 2022 | Uncategorized

If a man destroys the eye of another man, they shall destroy his eye. – Hammurabi’s Code Hammurabi: a semi-mythical king of Babylon (a city-state in present-day Iraq) who handed down the...

This Week’s Bastard: Sargon of Akkad—Just Like Moses, Only Bloodier (reigned 2334-2279 B.C.)

by Brian Thornton | Aug 9, 2022 | Uncategorized

But because of the evil which [Sargon] had committed, the great lord Marduk [personal god of the city of Babylon] was angry, andhe destroyed his people by famine. From the rising of the sun unto the setting of the sun they opposed him and gave him no rest. ...